Introspection Archives - Page 3 of 5

30th October 2015

What Are You Not?

A discussion that I have repeated many times with various individuals – young, old, male, female – is the discussion around purpose and identity. This is something that is very personal and many people could potentially disagree with me regarding the nature of a so called deterministic view that a discussion around purpose evokes.

What I can say for certain is that individuals tend to have a natural fit in certain environments, tasks and relationships which enables them to be the best for the world when they focus on a key area of passion. I have been blessed to refine this area for myself over many years and it has therefore been the center of discussion at various parties, social engagements and client interactions.

A key question that I have been asked a few times is how do you find more purpose or refine your identity? Now for some disappointing news – there is no answer! You have to live it, experience, experiment and engage in relationships in order to get more clarity. Even more importantly, you have to remove what is not you.

When Michelangelo was asked how did he create the David statue he replied that he removed everything that was not David until he was revealed. This indicates a chiseling, hammering and sanding process – that’s right, it is painful, and challenging. Only the tough receive a gift of identity and purpose.

Pain is a great teacher but few wants to be his student.
Go from just surviving to being alive.

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16th October 2015

Regaining Wisdom

Don’t just sit there and do nothing! The words ring loudly in our ears. The world says we need to take action, do, do, do! Things won’t happen by themselves. In the office you must step up, take action and impress people. Hey you the entrepreneur a minute spent in thought and reflection is a client lost!

And so the fear and anxiety creeps in on the back of shallow insights that destroys the depth of who we are. Look around you – is the current condition of the world brought about by too much reflection and wise action or by meaningless, overhasty drive and ambition?

Who are you? Perhaps today is the day to just do nothing and sit there. Yes, as crazy as that might seem, we do enough and there is no shortage of doers in the world. You can just look at what we have done over the last two millennia. But who have we become?!

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9th October 2015

Half-eaten Apples and the Meaning of Life

When you pass the kitchen counter and accidentally bump an apple and then catch it just to realise that you are grabbing a half eaten apple you know that life has a different meaning. So before I lose you, what I am referring to is the surprises that we receive.

Surprise can be good – we normally call surprises we like a surprise – or they can be bad and we don’t like them. The last mentioned is what we call problems. It is like grabbing a half-eaten apple and not expecting it.

The specific half-eaten apple I am talking about it was something my 6 year old son did. He ate half an apple and the rest was left on the kitchen counter. In many ways his apple that he left me reminded me that raising kids are in some ways the greatest challenge one can ever face.

And, yet, they are also the challenge that shape us, enrich us and ultimately help define us.

It is in the messy mesh of life’s threads that real meaning is created and that half-eaten apple reminded me that the surprises that I don’t want – the problems in life – is an opportunity to stand back and choose to add meaning and define life.

It brought a smile to my face and I realised that without life’s half-eaten apples it’s probably going to get quite boring.

9th October 2015

Half-eaten Apples and the Meaning of Life

And, yet, they are also the challenge that shape us, enrich us and ultimately help define us.

It brought a smile to my face and I realised that without life’s half-eaten apples it’s probably going to get quite boring.

25th September 2015

One Thing…

Can you identify the one thing that drains you emotionally the most today? Sometimes in order to overcome, feel better, focus and accomplish we simply have to answer the question above.

Just one thing. One thing! Don’t over-complicate life. Address the one thing that will make you feel better. Exercise, complete the report, make time for your wife, start the blog, say no at work… Whatever!

Once that’s done keep moving and make sure you make time for the things that are important but not urgent. This recreation – i.e. the time and possibility to make sure you have the ability to start fresh – [re]create – is what enables a long-term view.

Go from survive to alive!

25th September 2015

One Thing…

Can you identify the one thing that drains you emotionally the most today? Sometimes in order to overcome, feel better, focus and accomplish we simply have to answer the question above.

Go from survive to alive!

28th August 2015

No. 101

This post is no. 101 on this blog. It did not start out as survivetoalive.com but it represents a progression, dedication and passion over a number of years (check out the archive for more detail). Sometimes there were only a few blogs throughout the year when things were tough and other times there were more.

In the last few months however, I have been focused on posting once a week – like today. Many other authors I know publish many more post on a weekly basis but at the moment my focus is on organic progression. I find that this blog should reflect a desire for wisdom, patience and trust.

Society is so busy creating and destroying material wealth that right now it is important not to let fear into your heart. In my work with businesses, students and leaders the presence of fear can be a killer blow to any good intention. To know who I am, why I am here and staying true to this calling brings great trust that I will be okay, even when things are tough.

During my twenties I was privileged to work with entrepreneurs and corporates alike. I was hasty, hungry and scared but I believe none of this compares to my lifelong desire to improve. Not only improve my skills and abilities but in fact improve the condition of my being – being at peace, being at rest, being focused, being patient. Learn to let go.

So today #101 is the first post in a long legacy of writing, connecting, learning and inspiration. Once again today I am going from just surviving to really living.

14th August 2015

Rule No. 6

Ever hear about rule number 6?
…One day the president of a country was sitting in his chambers with a very important international guest in the midst of high-level discussions when one of his adivsors storms into the chambers announcing that there is an emergency that they urgently need to discuss with the president.

The President pauses for a moment, looks at his advisor and politelty asks the advisor to remember rule number 6. The advisor smiles and apologises for the interruption and respectfully leaves the chambers.

The President and his guest continue with their conversation for a few minutes when, very abruptly and rather rudely, another advisor enters the chamber with yet another urgent matter. Once again the President turns to his advisor requesting that rule number 6 please be observed. As before the advisor leaves the chamber quite relieved.

Just as the President and his guest get to a critical part of the discussion the chamber doors open a third time and the same event repeats itself – a big crisis, the President requesting that rule number 6 be observed and the advisor leaving with a smile.

So by now, just like the guest , you are wondering what is rule number 6, right? The guest proceeds, with great curiosity, to ask the President what is rule number 6?
The President answers that rule number 6 is: “Do not take yourself so seriously”. The guest is enraptured by this approach for a joyous few moments but then pauses and asks: “What are the other rules?”

“That is simple” says the President, “There are no other rules.”

Fairly frequently when I get all worked up by circumstances I remember rule number 6. Many times it simply makes me smile. When I pause, take a deep breath and realise that it’s not really all that serious I am truly relieved. And when the problem shrinks in my mind it is much easier to solve.

Don’t take yourself too seriously and go from survive to alive!

7th August 2015

The Danger of Empty Comparisons

Don’t we have a lovely world filled with big data, statistics, and, off course, comparisons! Everywhere we go we can see that we are not thin enough, pretty enough, successful enough or rich enough. Billboards, magazines and TV ads are jut a few of the wonderful sources we have that gives us the benchmark of the having-existence we need to conform to.

Once again, like last week, I ask what are you reading, listening to and watching? The global consumer economy is based on our willingness to compare ourselves to an irrelevant standard of having stuff that will seemingly make us deliriously happy.

I ask you to make only one comparison – Are you being the person you need to be in order to be you? What are the big things that you are avoiding on a daily basis – the quiet time you are skipping, the small thank you note you need to write to your loved one, the smile you need to wear when you are at the grocery store, the exercise routine that you finally need to incorporate in your LIFE.
Pick one and just do it!

It is a matter of urgency. Don’t tell yourself you can go without it for another day. Compare a life filled with joy, satisfaction, peace and abundance of spirit because you do things that matter vs. a life of postponement filled with empty things because you made the wrong comparison.

Go from survive to alive!

10th July 2015

What is Hard Work?

For many years I have struggled with a world that blindly accepts that work ethic means that you need to be willing to sacrifice family, health and peace in service of getting the job done.

When you ask people they won’t tell you this – they will rather say something like “that’s not what I meant but we have do get the job done” or “it is only this weekend that we need to work over time”. Indeed! But what about the past six months working after hours and putting in extra – there is only 24 hours in every day. The original 8 hour day movement recognised the need for three critical parts that needs consistent attention: 8 hours work, 8 hours recreation and 8 hours rest on a daily basis.

Perhaps this idea is outdated? All I can say is that it speaks to me and I try to apply it as far as possible. It does however require that I do the hard work inside in order to be able to say no; trust for enough and manage my own irrelevant desires that lead astray and rather continuously foster habits that bring life. So when people say that you need to have a work ethic what I interpret is inefficient mediocrity – i.e. do things of no significance in a dumb way without question.

I love what Robin Sharma says: “Manage your focus, not your time”. I completely agree, you have no power over the time that is given to you but you do have a good bit of control over yourself. The fact is that few people try and change themselves in order to realise their true selves which will manifest accomplishment and significance rather than material success or achievement as defined bu those with “work ethic”.

Don’t get me wrong, I believe in dedication responsibility and accountability for that which you have agreed to but I do not believe in blindly following orders without questioning the why of work.

So today I challenge you to get more life and avoid just surviving by asking yourself whether you are thinking about who you are, where you are heading – you know the ethical stuff of doing what is right – and then do the work that aligns to this. Now that’s what I call work ethic. …And that is hard work.

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