Category: Uncategorised

In the previous post I wrote about dreaming.  Simply just dreaming!  I see so many people that have given up and feel that they’re dreams just don’t matter anymore – what nonsense!  But that was last week and you are welcome to read more about that right here.

It does all start with dreams but my question is what follows next?  Set those big goals and hit it as hard as you possibly can?  Rev it up and see where it ends? Man O Man!  I am simply tired of all the rushing and pushing for bigger and badder every year by the “leaders” in society.  I do believe that we have to look at our behaviour and change, transform, grow and simply be amazing.  …But how?

Just to recap: I have been working with people development and in business now for about 11 years within different fields and what strikes me every day is how simple it is to fail.  There are endless resources that are really excellent out there yet it is still so easy to fail.  It is simply about the behaviour that is so deeply rooted.  I think it is because we have faith in our behaviour; faith in our habits.  …Faith that it will bring us comfort, security and protection against the thing we don’t want – failure.  It is a little like believing that brushing your teeth will save your life.

What I am getting at here is that our habits shape us because they are rooted in our beliefs.  I am also challenging the approach that you need to change your beliefs before you change your behaviour.  I am not saying that your beliefs are not important but sometimes seeing is believing.  If you can see the effect that changed habits have on your life you will perhaps be persuaded to believe that you can.

I have gone through periods that I have had to choose to change habits (perhaps pressured to a certain extent) and through this have been able to see what I am capable of.  The reality is that when I change a habit my behaviour changes and I am made aware of what I believed about myself previously.  So here is the great epiphany: focus your focus and passion on habits rather than goals as an alternative approach. I guess it does relate to the principle of ensue that has this habit of popping up every time.  The point is that if you are doing something because you feel called to do it and make time in every day to pursue it there should be a breakthrough.  Focus on the outcome and it has a way of causing stress.  Be in the moment and find the intrinsic value of your activities, build habits (e.g. playing a guitar for an hour a day, every day between 8 and 9pm) around these activities and see real growth occur.

In the previous post I wrote about dreaming.  Simply just dreaming!  I see so many people that have given up and feel that they’re dreams just don’t matter anymore – what nonsense!  But that was last week and you are welcome to read more about that right here.

It does all start with dreams but my question is what follows next?  Set those big goals and hit it as hard as you possibly can?  Rev it up and see where it ends? Man O Man!  I am simply tired of all the rushing and pushing for bigger and badder every year by the “leaders” in society.  I do believe that we have to look at our behaviour and change, transform, grow and simply be amazing.  …But how?

Just to recap: I have been working with people development and in business now for about 11 years within different fields and what strikes me every day is how simple it is to fail.  There are endless resources that are really excellent out there yet it is still so easy to fail.  It is simply about the behaviour that is so deeply rooted.  I think it is because we have faith in our behaviour; faith in our habits.  …Faith that it will bring us comfort, security and protection against the thing we don’t want – failure.  It is a little like believing that brushing your teeth will save your life.

What I am getting at here is that our habits shape us because they are rooted in our beliefs.  I am also challenging the approach that you need to change your beliefs before you change your behaviour.  I am not saying that your beliefs are not important but sometimes seeing is believing.  If you can see the effect that changed habits have on your life you will perhaps be persuaded to believe that you can.

I have gone through periods that I have had to choose to change habits (perhaps pressured to a certain extent) and through this have been able to see what I am capable of.  The reality is that when I change a habit my behaviour changes and I am made aware of what I believed about myself previously.  So here is the great epiphany: focus your focus and passion on habits rather than goals as an alternative approach. I guess it does relate to the principle of ensue that has this habit of popping up every time.  The point is that if you are doing something because you feel called to do it and make time in every day to pursue it there should be a breakthrough.  Focus on the outcome and it has a way of causing stress.  Be in the moment and find the intrinsic value of your activities, build habits (e.g. playing a guitar for an hour a day, every day between 8 and 9pm) around these activities and see real growth occur.

I have had some really beautiful conversations with some special people in the last few days and it has opened my eyes to the power of dreams.  Dreams are ideas deeply embedded within us that we hope will become real.  Yes, there is a lot of hard work that goes into making a dream come true but the beginning is so important.  …The beginning is where your imagination takes you to a place that you are someone different.  It is a place where you have overcome fears and where you are truly living up to your potential.

This is as special as it gets.  The conversations that I have been having have really inspired me because I had the opportunity to share my dream with people as well as listen to the dreams of others.  What I have also found, sadly, is that there are a number of people that dream of getting away or out of something.  That’s it; nothing more.  It is a fantasy of escape but with no destination or journey beyond that.  No dreaming.  In the same instance I am saddened and overjoyed because even if people aren’t dreaming there is an opportunity to revive an old dream or begin a new one.

You are responsible to the world to live your dream and nothing less!  It is a responsibility that is the greatest privilege.  It starts with the reality of your dream; the acknowledgement that you do have a dream and that is as important as anyone else’s.  No one can dream your dream for you and ultimately no-one can live it for you.  NO ONE BUT YOU!

By dreaming and living your dreams you fill this world with more beauty.  And that beauty no one else can give to the world except you.  We have every day to decide how we will live and if that decision is not powered by dreams what is it powered by?

Dare to dream and then dare to take dream-inspired action.  Dont’ wait untill tomorrow or the most-ideal day.  TODAY!  Grab a pen and paper and write something down.  Put some pictures on a piece of paper.  Take photographs of things that inspire you and remind you of who you are and where you are heading.  Above all remind yourself that you are special and only you can dream your dreams.

Last week’s post was all about looking for the loopholes in our unwritten social contracts.  This week I would like to follow-up with a post looking at how much you trust and how much action you take?

I look at many people in my environment and see over-hasty and busy people.  I also see a lot of people that simply trust that things will work out without taking the appropriate actions.  In the last year I have gotten some good lessons on trust and I am still learning.  I know it is something of vital importance.  I can see that there are many times that I am confronted with fear being a failure and then react by trying extra hard or being extra busy – I over-compensate.  I lose sight of my purpose, become impatient and then let fear govern my action.  Like I mentioned above, I am learning to recognise the signs sooner, be calm and trust that the path I am on is the one that I need to be on.

From this awareness I concentrate on the few things that are really important.  I use journaling to bring my thoughts into the light and also look back at previous journal entries to remind me of why I am here.  The idea is to reduce things to the required minimum in order to release the beauty of life.  This is where the action is rooted and also combined with patience and trust – not so easy…

Think about which actions combined with trust (peace and contentment) will give the desired result.
Aha!  Now things are getting interesting – results, oh yeah!  Is that the focus?  Or should you be doing things for intrinsic reasons according to the principle of ensue?  I guess it is a bit of a paradox where you get the results by not focusing on it (no I am not on some experimental drug).

The point is not getting bogged down into distracting activities but to make sure that you are busy with the right stuff. It is a unrelenting focus on the non-negotiable basics of your life.  Never back down and always look for the loopholes in order to stay true to your path.  I don’t want to sit back and wait for a super event that will change my life but I also do not want to run around trying to control everything due to fear that I will not make it.  My actions must flow from a place of trust and patience rooted in purpose and meaning.

P.s. I took the picture a few years back and I think it speaks to the approach of taking action from a place of trust and patience – easy and sure on the beach…

Nowadays you have to be a lawyer if you want to do things differently.  You might say: “Huh, are you nuts?  …Me a lawyer?”  Nope, not nuts.  What I am referring to is the set ways of society.  Even though we have made great changes in the world we live in and there are many more opportunities and options there still are many rules, norms, and accepted ways of doing things – especially in the world of work.  Have a look at my previous post where I took a cynical view on the world of work and survival in order to look at some of the hidden norms and values that we perhaps do not question that much.

If you want to break out and really do things with flair and fire you need to ask yourself where the loopholes are.  Pretty much like a lawyer looking at a contract.  In life we pretty much have various unwritten contracts that help us along the way.  Whether it helps us in the right direction or the wrong one is debatable.  The point is that we engage in work, leisure, friendship, and many other good things based on certain assumptions/expectations of how we are supposed to do it.  And here is the magic of society:  These rules and norms guide us without us even knowing it.  We do that lovely little human thing called assume.  In my opinion wars are started on assumptions – don’t assume.

We assume that friends are really honest with us (and themselves); we assume that the way that I am working is the right (or best) way; we assume that the way things are done is the best way (especially if someone senior with a title told me to); we assume that I can’t take risks because I will fail; we assume that things won’t get better so I might as well get use to it; we assume…

As a lawyer you don’t assume, you investigate and look for areas where someone else assumed that they won’t notice or see an important loophole.  So for example in my life I don’t assume that things are set.  Very few things are.  Most things in life is invented and until someone else comes along that does not assume but rather investigates or challenges the ‘as is’ or status quo.  The art lies in how you dig in.  I have made a number of mistakes by being too direct or blunt as well as wanting to change the system before changing myself – very important lesson that I have learnt and need to look out for because it is a weakness – I’d rather change the system than myself.

So now I look for loopholes before I try to change the whole system as well as see where I need to be more diplomatic or soft in my approach and then pray for a lot of patience in order to change the system.  I gotta be a lawyer to go from survive to alive and make the loopholes work for me.  The big thing I realised is that it links to my highest practical values and that is what keeps me motivated.

P.s. Now if you are really curious you would wonder what the text in the picture is all about…

So here’s a bit of a cynical take on things: Is there a new elite in business that is setting a damaging pace but with a smile.  In the past (and in many cases still today) there has been a ruthless approach to performance in business. 

Quite simply if you can’t produce the numbers you are swiftly removed from the organisation.  This use to be a rather cold and ruthless way of doing things without any care or empathy.  Now, however it seems like there is much more care and empathy within businesses but still no tolerance for poor performance.

It seems like it is exactly the same intolerance for non-performance but at least you get a smile.  Krishnamurti once wrote that “it is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society”.  It seems like we are becoming very well adjusted to a very sick society.  What I am specifically referring to here is the push to performance and the continual growth of people required to perform at these levels – a new breed of ‘fit’ individuals that are surviving.  I have spoken to many individuals that testify to burnout and I have also witnessed first-hand the devastating effects of a business society that puts massive pressure on people in order to gain results.  Please don’t get me wrong, I do not say that poor performance is acceptable but the pressure on people to perform or be rejected by the system is not healthy.  In fact I don’t even want to talk about performance – we are not cars.  Perhaps the term should rather be accomplishment.

It is therefore no longer blatant/cold domination but now a psychological approach where you are culled with emotional rejection and social isolation in order to move a cohesive breed of predatory business people forward.  The pace of capitalism and the electronic herd determines the pace of our development and the shape of comfort and discomfort.  We are indeed very well adjusted and do it with a smile.  You lose control due to the price of living with certain standards set externally but gain control through time spent within the system as a means to learn how to beat it.

Like I said, it is perhaps a cynical view and only highlights the negativity of the situation.  From the last sentence of the previous paragraph I do however believe that there is much to learn within a sick society.  True transformation starts with awareness and if there is anything to be taken away from this post it is to be aware that you are perhaps only surviving in a sick society.  See the sickness and take a decision to start (or continue) the healing in your own life.  The more individuals there are that heal themselves in a sick society, the better the chance of healing the society.

So perhaps we see the result of moderate change instead of true radical change at the moment.  Perhaps this is the ‘safe’ way of doing it.  Who can be certain?  All I know is that it is my job to challenge the dominant thinking and suggest new ways of looking at our current situation in order to assist in the transformation of society.

BOOM!

So the last few days I have been in Cape Town for work.  I am currently at the airport waiting to board.  Obviously I am using the time wisely to muse on my current situation over some good coffee.  I think about the momentum I am experiencing in more ways than one.

On the one hand I am enjoying the physical momentum and motion of traveling by car, plane, elevator, escalator, and foot.  The mere movement through space and time is invigorating and inspires me to write this blog.  I’ll follow-up and connect some of my previous topics but I though it wise to stand still in order to move forward.  On the other hand my physical condition is currently not well suited to travelling.  The pain I am experiencing makes it tough not only to travel but when combined with the rigours of client-facing facilitation work that demands high energy at all times it is very exhausting.

There is however magic that happens inside of me.  The stretch due to the momentum is truly magnificent and perhaps by looking at it from this perspective it is in fact following-up on my previous post quite well.  Just as I feel the stretch of working more interdependently I am also feeling the stretch that momentum brings.  So here I refer to momentum in psychological terms.  The fact that things are moving and I need to move, or have momentum of thought and being, in order to benefit from the new challenge.  I expand in order to adapt and the expansion creates depth inside of me as a human being.

I don’t have to.  I can also complain that I am physically and emotionally drained because of it but in reality that doesn’t matter.  What really matters is whether I see the big picture.  This is my season to traverse some of the more challenging and possible darker aspects of my personality.  In the last while I wanted to hide away somewhere that is comfortable and only use my strengths.  Man, how the circumstances are teaching me masterful life lessons and I am definitely learning that the height of cultivation runs to simplicity.

Right here, right now, I feel joy, satisfaction, hope and blessing.  I will continue my journey and write my story because there is no-one else that can.  My voice is my voice and I will use it to speak life.  I will not dwell on what is wrong but see the beauty and blessing around me and in me.  There is so much beauty that I can’t be bothered by all the bulls#!t.

Ps. Please excuse the rather intense expression but I believe my current emotional state needs some intense expression!

Pps.  I am however very tired at the moment…

Late last year I started a wonderful journey with a group of people in a new business.  I moved from a situation where I pretty much had an independent role and could conduct most of my day according to my own preference.  As I made the moved I was not fully aware that my new role would require me to be so interdependent.

I was in fact a little shell-shocked when I had to go from a place of independence and considerable competence to interdependence and incompetence.  I have in fact been stretched and tested on some of my weaknesses that I didn’t expect.  The lone ranger in me just wanted to fight it with all the energy I had.  Fortunately I was aware of my personality and how I was reacting.  I could pause and decide to respond in an appropriate manner.  My original reaction was to get on my horse, six-gun at my side, and ride of into the sunset on my own – Lone Ranger style.

The circumstances I found myself in, however, challenged me on my Lone Ranger attitude and I had to make a choice.  I realised that I had to dig in and become part of the A-Team.  I could see how the challenge would reveal a part of me that would create a synergy within myself and the team.  The beauty of it was that within the A-Team I would still be able to have my own unique role; I would still be able to maintain the heart of a Lone Ranger as well as fit in with the team.  Not either/or but both!

In order to go from survive to alive I had to overcome the fear of losing myself within a bigger whole.  I had to confront the fear that my uniqueness would be lost and I would have to go through long days merely getting by on some of my lesser skills.  In reality I now see that through sacrifice a better road is being built where excellence is being revealed.  I am being sharpened every day.

I am naturally a bit of a recluse and love my own company.  I have perhaps been doing it a bit too much.  Things happen for a reason and I can see that this phase is working on my hermit mentality.  I believe that some of my best work still happens on my own but it is empty and meaningless if I can’t build and share it with others – balance and synergy.

In the end I will always connect and collaborate with others and it is good to see how it is happening in this phase of my life.  I wanted the exposure and growth but wasn’t aware that it was going to be so tough.  It is however a plan coming together and I love it when a plan comes together!

A while back I used a quote by Bruce Lee that goes like this: “One does not accumulate but eliminate.  It is not daily increase but daily decrease.  The height of cultivation always runs to simplicity.”  Now I know he said this with specific reference to Jeet Kune Do but the philosophy behind it is very powerful.  It is the same as an artist that reveals a magnificent sculpture from the rock, removing bit by bit until the artwork is revealed.

Society does not teach this anymore.  I believe that in society we are taught to accumulate.  We lose focus of the journey of cultivation and instead we keep adding on until we are so smothered wit stuff that we have lost sight of our journey.

A good illustration of this is the saying, work hard, play hard – more of everything!  Yip, squeeze life so full of stuff that there is no room for you.  How about just living?  I get so sick of ‘successful’ people that put the pressure on society due to their accumulation syndrome.  I believe we can do with less and be more.

It is however about getting and keeping my focus right.  By implication focus means that there are things I need to say no to or my energy well be dispersed and when I strike it will be off-centre and weak.  What I want is on-target and powerful blows.  The real accomplishment in this is perfecting the art and not what can be gained through it.  It is therefore of intrinsic value and not primarily instrumental.

My passion here lies in knowing myself and specifically questioning the image society projects on me.  I will reduce what is not necessary in mind and heart first and let that guide powerful action.
It is this compelling vision of simplicity that gives me energy.  Knowing that I am free of many of the burdens society want to heap on me.  I can choose and I choose me; revealed from the rock and ready to strike a powerful blow.